


Loved with Hate

by Anonymous



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angry Sex, Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Armin is traumatised, Canon Compliant, Dominant Eren Yeager, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Trust, Loss of Virginity, Love/Hate, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Obsession, Older Eren Yeager, Older Mikasa Ackerman, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Possessive Behavior, Psychological Torture, Shameless Smut, Smut, Threats of Violence, Top Eren Yeager, Tragic Romance, Unhealthy Relationships, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 10:48:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20329894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Eren's changed recently. Mikasa isn't sure she likes it but he's still the boy she loves. Even if his actions are becoming more evil everyday.





	Loved with Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Be cautious of the tags. This does include rape and will be set after chapter 112

Mikasa's relationship with Eren had never been worse than today. She didn't like fighting with him. She never had, always ready to give in and agree with his point no matter how cruel, or reckless or foolish. In order to maintain their relationship and make sure they got along. That's what she'd tried to do tonight. 

Honestly, the girl hadn't fully recovered from their little discussion. 

Her mind kept replaying it, victim to the torture it. She'd missed him for so many weeks now, dreaming of the day when he'd be free and she'd finally get to look into his eyes and smell his scent and maybe even touch his lovely long hair. Now she wished he'd stayed locked up. His words had penetrated her, forcing the deepest parts of her soul open and trampling on them, beating them, stabbing them and worse. 

She thought of the invisible wall between them, the way he cut her off every time she spoke. The way her heart beat with excitement and hope every time she looked his way, only to be oppressed by that cold glare. As if... As if Eren truly was disgusted by the sight of her. 

As if he really had always hated her. 

Mikasa's breath hitched in a shaky sob. Shit. She hadn't meant to- to cry thinking about it now. She was in bed, a long day behind her and her sheets warm and cosy and everything perfect. 

"Mikasa?" Armin asked, running over and placing his hand on her shoulder. She was lying flat, the caring boy she'd grown up with kneeling by her side.  
  
"I-I'm okay."

Her voice was a gentle whisper. With everything that had happened today, neither of them could sleep. Mikasa had invited Armin to sleep in the spare bed across the room from hers. It wasn't at all uncommon for her to open up this space to someone she trusted. Armin, Historia or...

Eren. 

"You don't have to be okay Mikasa." The blond stated pathetically, a pout just as tragic on his own face.   
"It's okay to be hurt.E-especially after today." 

He clenched his fists and shook his head. 

"I still can't believe he-"

Mikasa sat up suddenly, wiping Armin's soft cheeks with her hands. 

"You're the one who was hurt Armin. I-I'm sorry for siding with him." 

Mikasa knew with pain in her heart, that she'd probably side with Eren even if it meant tearing her own heart to shreds. She just couldn't stand to be in conflict with him. Even still, she had tried to align herself with him and been rejected. She'd humiliated and hurt herself and despite it all, she was still unbearably _alone._

"I've been meaning to thank you for standing up for me like that Armin." She blinked a gentle, wet smile up at him. 

He looked down at her, blue eyes still pure as the cleanly ocean, as if he were still the same child. <strike>Mikasa wished Eren could revert to that state too.</strike>

"You're a good friend."

"You're the good friend Mikasa."

He made a motion as if he wanted to join her on the bed and Mikasa let him, scooting over so they were both huddled up beside each other, each wrapped individually in their own blankets. The more words flowed, the harder it became to talk, to breathe. Before they knew it, they were both crying. Mikasa didn't let herself cry for real though. She feared that if she did accept her emotions, her tears would never stop. 

It was like this, that the old friends fell asleep. 

* * *

Mikasa awoke to cold air entering her blankets. She felt them shift and figured it was Armin. Rolling over, she pressed her face into her cushion and tried to ignore it, intending on falling back asleep. The fidgeting didn't stop however, small movements in her side and a persistent weight on either side of her hips. When something brushed the sensitive tips of her hair from beneath her blankets, Mikasa couldn't relax any longer and sat up. 

"Armin?" She whispered, staring back at nothing but darkness. 

An irritated huff that definitely wasn't Armin's hit her ears and that was all it took for her heart to start _racing.  
_"Hm. You really are a disgusting slut."

That voice! It was low and dark, bleaker than the voice of the man she loved but still spoke by Eren's lips. Eren was in her bed. She exclaimed his name in a rush of surprise, stretching up to face him only to meet those terrifying eyes. The eyes of a man who was dead inside. The eyes of a man who'd taken lives. Human lives. Innocent lives. Children's lives. 

_"Ever since I was a kid, I've always hated you."_

That voice rang in her head like a cursing chant. Their eyes met, and suddenly all her excitement fell to dread. 

Eren was in her bed. Eren who'd slit his palm and forced her to submit. Eren who'd hurt her best friend. Suddenly their position registered as his weight on her hips slammed her back down face first onto her bed. She twisted, abs tight and pushed herself up, Eren's adult body taller and somehow stronger. No. If he were anyone else but Eren, Mikasa would've been able to flip their positions. But her mind and body burned with every inch of his body resting above hers, a perfect weight in the perfect place. 

How many nights and days had she spent dreaming this would happen? If only time had reversed 24 hours, Mikasa would have been delighted. Instead, as he curled his fingers slowly around the sensitive pale of her neck, she was terrified. 

"What do you want?" She whispered. 

He had her pressed flat. She imagined his intent eyes, brighter than a flame and yet, darker than a starless night. That was all she needed to imagine as everything else was a painful reality she had to struggle to fight away. His arms around hers, pinning her, holding her wrists up above her head. Her torso, vulnerable under his and pressed against the wall of his abs and chest and heart. Only a thin layer of clothing separated them. And below that...

Mikasa clenched shut her eyes, her thighs tensing and shifting uncomfortable beneath him. 

When he spoke, it was his hot breath pressing down against her ears that hit her almost as hard as his words. 

"Is it bad for me to check up on my little adoptive sister?" He hissed. The words were almost there. His lips had struck against the small bump of sensitive bone in the back of her neck. 

She almost moaned in surprise. 

"What..hn.." She could barely make a coherent sentence. "Why in my bed? W-why are you..."

"Touching you?"

Just as she was wondering when his voice had gotten so low, she felt something better than a droplet of sin as he parted his lips and licked a line up from that spot to behind her ear. This time Mikasa did moan, though, to her ears she could play it off as a gasp. His tongue had felt so good. _So good._

"Eren.." She struggled to make sense of words as she inhaled. The hand on her neck slipped up to her short hair and curled around her skull, holding her flat to allow him to nip at her ear and- she had to be dreaming. This had to be her brain's tragic way of refusing to accept that he'd given up on her. His lips kissing her shoulders had felt so good she almost failed to notice the tickle of his fingers unbuttoning the loose white shirt she slept in. Of the cold air sending goosebumps over their skin as he tossed it aside out of the bed before returning the covers over them. 

She did feel his fingers run a trail down her spine and she did enjoy the sensation of his warm lips, so soft and delightful as the kissed down her shoulders. As if he loved her, as if she could pretend that this was his way of apologising for all the cruel ways he'd broken her heart today. By now her breath was laboured, arms staying compliantly above her head even as his hands left their to explore elsewhere. 

His finger tips were so slight, but when his strong hands gripped either side of her waist and slid down the smooth, naked expanse of her back they were warm. Mikasa didn't think they could feel any better until his thumbs were under the straps of her panties. 

"Ah-" She gasped, leaning her head up to try and look back. He was sitting up now, and the first thing her eyes saw was that bare, beautiful chest. She wanted to touch it, to run her hands on it, rest her head on it and lick his sweat off it. He must have noticed her lust because his fingers stopped. She swallowed, throat tight and looked up nervously at his devastatingly sexy eyes. 

They were glaring just as intently. 

Her breasts pressed into the mattress as he chest heaved, watching his lips in eagerness to hear what he had to say. But the words he delivered were disappointingly cruel. 

"Keep you hands above you." 

It was spoken with such malice, such resent in those eyes her world came crashing down. He shouldn't look at her like that. He shouldn't be allowed to destroy her soul with a few words and a single stare. Mikasa wasn't sure she wanted this anymore, the hopes of her heart ruined. Eren failed to sense this, pulling the thin straps inch by inch down her ass. She lifted it so it fell down her thighs more easily. Face down like this, she thought she could pretend she didn't feel this shame. But of course, her arousal was obvious, running down her thighs and his fingers, spilling onto the bed a little from just a few touches to her virgin skin and the feel of his breath. 

A sound of amusement caught her ears, though it didn't show in his painful, beautiful eyes. Eren discarded her panties down her ankles. Then both hands went around her ass and pinched. The feeling was strange but close enough to there that Mikasa whined a little into her cushion. She didn't want to talk too much, in fear that Eren might stop.

Eren. This was Eren.

Mikasa peeked back at him curiously, wondering if he liked being able to mould her soft ass cheeks and thighs in his hands, parting them. He glared at her when she looked at him. Her brows knit as if she had been caught doing something bad. 

"Eren-" She mouthed. 

"Shut up." Suddenly he was on her, cruel and violent and Mikasa couldn't understand why. She hadn't even started to speak yet but he'd grabbed her by the head and slammed her head into the mattress so hard she went dizzy. He slapped her ass then, and Mikasa didn't realise until the aftermath when her skin suddenly started to painfully sting. Before she could catch a breath Eren rammed the weight of his hips over hers again and held her in place. Now with her ass exposed, she gasped, feeling the outline of something hard and long from behind leather. 

Eren was too busy yanking her back by the hair to notice her fixation with _there_. 

"Don't even know how to stay quiet for one second do you Mikasa?" He tugged at her throat like a doll and snarled against her ear, more of the brutal, delicious breath flooding her with sensual shivers. His hands were snaking up the front of her neck and jaw, grip bruising. Words, abusive.   
Eren~ Eren~

"Well if you're not quiet I'll just have to make you shut up with something in your mouth-!"

Mikasa gasped at the thought, shocked as two digits slammed into her mouth and pushed down on her tongue hard. She tasted Eren, his fingers on her tongue, inside her cavern and between her lips. Her eyes fell shut, sucking his fingers in without being told. Eren moved so his lips were on her ear, biting her there then biting her head over her hair. It was so strange but it was good. She felt dominated by him in every sense, knowing that if she breathed she'd smell him. If she licked she'd taste him. If she pushed up her ass and struggled to fight and escape she'd feel his outline, hard and curiously pressing into hers as if it was just as eager to taste her as she was for him. 

"Please..." She begged, wondering why he hadn't entered her yet. She was pretty sure his trousers were soaked with her juices. His hand refused to leave from her ass, clenching it for so hard and long it no longer felt good but it hurt, as if begging for her to make his grip stop before she was dyed black and blue. 

Mikasa wouldn't dream of stopping him from touching her. 

Mikasa rolled her hips and nearly bit her tongue as the tip of his fingers slipped down to her pool and followed the smear of wetness down to her clit. She shivered violently, goosebumps all over her skin and hole spitting more liquid as if that might convince him to finally put it inside of her. 

"Did I tell you to be quiet?" He asked, voice seductive. His hair was half tied up but the stray strands tickled her. She wished she could look into his eyes. She'd love to immerse herself in them. _To drown in them._

"I change my mind, I want you to beg."

He was so strict, somehow so full of self control. Mikasa lost it there and then, an absolute wreck of herself more than happy to beg and whine as she said his name over and over. Lustful, loving whispers of his name and begs of please accompanied by her rocking and grinding her hips against his cock in hopes of friction. His fingertip still rested halfway at the entrance of her pussy and if she rolled her hips just right, she could get it to poke in just enough to make her core tight with a moan. 

"Please Eren.. please...!" Tears were gathering in her eyes. Mikasa soon realised that this was about more than the sex. As long as Eren had a use for her, even if she were a whore or a slave, she'd be happy as long as she had him by her side. On top of her. Or in this case, inside of her.

"You really do make me sick." He uttered, before finally relenting and sliding a finger right in to the knuckle. 

Mikasa's body jerked with rapt pleasure at such a simple intrusion, she felt it reach inside of her, up over a corner and around a nerve which he pressed. He went right to the core of her arousal and made heat spiral and spill in her core. She was gasping again, swinging her hips for a better angle to back herself up against. 

"Do you want another finger?"

"Yes- Eren yes."

"Inside you?"

"Inside me?"

"Where you're all wet."

"Hmm~"

"Because of me?"

He was teasing, delaying the inevitable. If only he knew how crazy his voice drove her all dark like that. 

"I'll do anything Eren." She whimpered, "Just please- please touch me."

If she didn't know any better, she'd think he was smiling. 

"You really are a filthy slut Mikasa." He said venomously, before shoving two more fingers into the depths of her vagina. Mikasa was pulsing and clenching, split open and intruded for the first time under Eren in her own bed. One second she was taking in his scent, sucking on his fingers with both the tongue in her mouth and the walls in her pussy. 

Then everything was white hot and a sharp shiver rocketed through every muscle in her being. 

Not knowing what to do, Mikasa slammed her body against his fingers and screamed. She screamed the filthiest sound she'd ever heard from her dainty lips and shook her body ways she didn't think were possible until pleasure possessed her, controlling every arch and breath and clench. She rode herself out on his rough fingers that didn't halt in their abusing for a second. 

Her body jerked up high but Eren was there to catch her by the throat, their bodies flush as his lips closed around the spot on her jaw, biting and kissing her sore. 

Then it washed away and everything felt perfect. Mikasa saw white and her pussy was dripping at a dangerous rate. She closed her eyes and tilted her head, vulnerable to Eren's kisses and bites and harsh fingers clipping her in place. Everything was perfect and then, Mikasa heard a tiny whisper. 

"..Mikasa?"

Her eyes snapped open. 

Blue eyes looked back at her, wide with emotions she couldn't quite tell. Then, they morphed into horror as Armin finally saw the figure looming over her. His blue eyes gave it all away. Eren must have looked a sight, green eyes glowing with something akin to rage and possession as his body touched naked over hers. He hadn't stopped kissing and destroying that one side of her neck for a second. The seductive touch of his lips and sound of his kisses not halting even now as Armin realised what was going on. 

Mikasa paled when she realised that she must have woken the blond. That he'd probably heard her make that... _moan._

He rushed to stand up as if he wanted to run but Eren's words were harsher than a slap of thunder. 

"Did I say you can get up?"

Armin froze. His head shook, frantic and terrified. 

"W-Why- w-what do you think you're doing with me in the room?! Y-you two shouldn't-!" His cheeks were scarlet. No. He was... he didn't fully grasp the situation. Suddenly the intrusion of his fingers left her and Mikasa's pussy clenched down on nothing. A painful soreness washed over her. She sobbed out something unintelligible, shaking her head as if to say no, but Eren's fingers clenched tighter around her throat, cutting off her words. 

Oh~ He was so strong. 

His fingers were harsh but his lips gentle, kissing a spot on her cheek that he loved to torture. Her cheeks were flush, and her eyes wet at the sides with unspilled tears. 

"Armin, get back in the fucking bed before I break her." He growled. 

What?

Mikasa's eyes went wide, looking at Eren only to realise that his body was steaming. He had a fresh cut. A wave of dread washed over her. Imagining him getting big- really big right now above her... Mikasa wouldn't stand a chance. For the first time all evening, she felt real fear. 

She shook her head, panic slipping into her as she struggled to fight him off for real now, rushing to get up. It was sobering. That level of violence, she was sure he wouldn't but...

But what if he did?

Eren was so different now he was barely the boy she knew. 

Eren was so different now, that with Mikasa using all her strength, he still flipped her and threw her into her bed with ease. Suddenly on her back, she looked up shocked. His hand roughly shoved her chest into the bed. It hurt and Armin was still watching. 

"Sit back down."

Armin shook his head, Armin was frozen. 

Naked bodies exposed now, Eren grabbed Mikasa by the leg and pulled it open on either side of her head. 

"Sit down. I won't say it again."

His body rolled suddenly, Mikasa flinching as his face was suddenly near to hers. Instead of headbutting her or hurting her though, he ran his tongue down her breast before sinking his teeth into a nipple. 

Mikasa howled. That wasn't pleasant. Her eyes were teary. They locked with blue, and Armin sank back into the bed, shoulder shrinking nervously. One finger picked at his lips but he didn't break eye contact. He was scared. Mikasa was too. An ironic laugh fell from her, but by the end, it sounded more of a pathetic sob. She didn't want to look at him. She didn't want to see him here. 

Her eyes saw evil green for one second before hands had slammed her back so her head dangled off the bed, her short hair upside down and her head aching with dizziness. His teeth bit up to her neck and chest and his hands massaged vigorously at her thighs, spreading them and grinding that thick, hot length of his against her clit. 

"Didn't I tell you to keep your hands up, Mikasa." He groaned, tugging at her ear and making a lewd, wet sound right there her sound was most sensitive. Her whole body was tired but Eren looked unbelievably sexy as he devoured her. She was crying, but spreading her legs too, forcing herself to look at him even when it _hurt_ her. 

"Want my dick?" He asked when he caught her staring, her lashes lowered with lust and her tongue striking out on her own lips, desperate for the memory of his taste. She nodded, cheeks flushed and Eren's face become so arousing she physically felt her body gush with sexual hormones in response. 

Then at long last, he slapped his cock against her pussy and pressed his head inside. 

"AH-"

Eren kissed her to muffle her cry. The head was big, stretching her and not reaching the bit that felt good. She wanted it to stop. She regretted it but he was kissing her. His lips on hers, the most intimate way Mikasa thought a boy and a girl could be joined up until he'd touched her there, awakening all sorts of primal wants and needs. Right now, all she could dream of was his tongue slipping its way inside of her mouth and greeting hers in a slow, wet slide. 

Then he pulled back and was kissing her messily. He bit her lips, caught her breaths, muffled her moans as his long cock delved deeper and deeper inside of her. Soon she felt it under the skin of her stomach. He squashed the skin there between his hard cock and hot abs. He rolled his hips and pulled painfully out so quickly Mikasa almost threw a tantrum. 

Then, holding her face by the thumb pressing down on her lip, he thrust back in. 

Mikasa saw stars, moaning so sweetly Armin suddenly felt hot and not as terrified as he'd like to be.

"Eren~!" She cried, body overflowing with desire as he did it again. Her thighs spread, core assaulted as he pounded her. Each thrust turned her legs to jelly and made her feel helpless in the most delectable way. He held her arms together, holding her hands and her pussy held him, wanting to keep him inside, loving that moment when they were both connected. 

When his hot breath poured over her and mingled with hers as they both moaned, riding against each other as if the hatred in his eyes didn't exist. As if he was still her adoptive brother, her will to live, her everything. 

When she looked up, she was looking into those eyes through strands of hair. 

He slammed her raw and her legs locked around his hips, a breathless chant of Eren through her incredulous moans. He was so sexy, so brutal and fuck-if Mikasa didn't love it. She'd do anything for him. She'd ride his cock all hours of the day if he asked. She'd spread her legs and tie herself up and fuck him in the air with their gear or slide inside his mouth as a titan she'd-

"Fuck~ Eren I'm gonna-!"

Fire scorched her this time, and it felt so different from the last time yet so much better. He hit her spot and made everything spill out from her, pleasure exploding so vigorously she trembled and bit her lip bloody. Eren groaned and grabbed her hips, pulling out and coating her stomach and tits with cum. He kept slamming his hips into her, riding it out as her hole surprised her by sputtering squirts and squirts of liquid. Mikasa rolled over, hand over her mouth trying to contain her pleasure but it kept coming and coming and coming until finally, Mikasa stopped. 

Eren and her were both lost for breath. He pulled out and slapped her ass, falling against her with his body close and intimate. 

As her breathing slowed, her hands reached up, holding him there. 

It was almost like a hug. 

Mikasa's heart lit up, hugging Eren in his purest form. They'd both made love. They were both complete. She never wanted to let go, already drifting to sleep when Eren suddenly pulled off of her and left the bed. 

Jolting up, she watched him put on his clothes. She shook her head, tried to say his name. 

Eren's eyes were cruel, an invisible wall between them. He didn't hear her words. He hurt her in every way possible and tore her heart to shreds. Then when he was done, he looked at her and narrowed his eyes before turning to leave. 

She wasn't even worth a goodbye..?

The door slammed and everything went silent. Only alone did Mikasa feel the bruises sinking into her skin. Tomorrow, she'd be as broken on the outside as her insides felt. 

Her eyes fell across the room and locked with the scared Armin. She smiled at him, tried to comfort him and lie to both him and herself that everything was alright. 

But then the dam burst and all that was left to do was cry. 


End file.
